my heart and my mind are two different things,
telling me their different opinions.
people say that your mind tells you one thing..
your mind asks questions and thinks about
how things willl turn out if you go one way or the other.
i was always told to follow my heart,
but this time my heart doesnt kno what it wants.
it could be the fact that we dont see each other often,
or maybe im just not ready for another heartbreaking relationship.
for the past two years i been having talks with my parents.
the talks only became serious last year when i told my dad
that i had a boyfriend. my dad was kinda mad but he was
glad that i made the decision on my own to tell him w/o him asking me.
my stepmom & dad have always told me the truth about guys.
they've told me things that i already knew, and i didnt care what they said.
the things that they've told me didnt apply to my relationships back
when i was in grade schoool. but this is high schoool, and im
starting to realize that all that they have told me was true.
having a boyfriend is reallly stressing and irritating.
i cant believe im saying this, but im too young to have a boyfriend.
i reallly dont need alll the bullshit that relationships give me.
high school is when i need to shape up and get good grades
so that i can get scholarships and get a good job to have the life
i always wanted to live, being able to get the things that i always
wanted and have my children have the things that i always wanted.
its true that girls mature faster than guys. i think thats why
girls tend to go out with guys a couple years older.
it makes me disappointed in my friends when i see them
sellling drugs and smoking weed and drinking.
in my eyes, they've pretty much thrown their lives away.
even my cousin dropped out of high schoool,
now if you think about it.. even though she's working,
she's not going to have a easy time with her life.
ohk, enough of that.. back to the boyfriend situation.
when i talk to you on the phone, its good sometimes.
when i see you in person, its alright.
and suddenly, when you show more of your feelings towards me..
i dont know what to do. i get butterflies in my tummmy.
i hate what you do to me. i keep on falling in & out of love with you.
my heart hesitates to tell me what it reallly wants.
ugggh, i really dont want to talk about it anymore..
i'll continue later on :/
